So most people would look at the huge gap between my last post and today and say 'There's another blogger that just got tired and stopped blogging.'
To them I say, 'HAH! In your face!! IN YOUR FACE!!'
The smart ones, like those who're really really smart, and intelligent and pretty would say, 'The Pious Hippie is taking time for some in-depth research.'
Which, of course, is the truth.
The past few months have taught me a lot of stuff- so this is a 'TAKING STOCK' post.
I will now proceed to lay out before you the revelations that 2012 has brought with it, for me.
FYI, a lot of these are changes to what I said before, so if you haven't read that - you'll be lost pretty much most of the time.
And then you'll hate me.
So I've linked everything to the original posts- so you can read that and understand what's going on and you will love me again.
Okay.
Maybe not "love" me, but like me.
Moving on.
Revelation description format:
OLD HYPOTHESIS
REVELATION
NEW HYPOTHESIS
Old Hypothesis: To reduce future suffering, we should increase current suffering as much as we can.
Revelation: This works. Quite well.
I'm still off coffee and chocolates- and it's killing me.
Slowly but surely.
But I think it's working.
Will keep you updated on progress.
New Hypothesis: Stick with the old hypothesis.
Old Hypothesis: The only way I can make my nose smaller without going to a plastic surgeon is by losing weight.
Revelation: Not true.
I've lost weight. Lots of weight.
My nose has become bigger.
.
.
.
How??
I'm glad you asked.
You see, my face has shrunk and my nose is still the same size.
Therefore, my nose is actually, proportionately, bigger.
I now wear a brown paper bag over my nose.
New Hypothesis: Ya have to live with the nose God gave ya.
OR get a nose job.
Old Hypothesis: The universe gives you signals to show you if you're going the right way. In life- generally speaking.
Revelation: Human nature prompts us to read the signal in favor of what we want to do, not necessarily what we should do.
For example: If I want to go get some ice-cream and a red bird flies past my face.
I'm going to think, 'Oh!! The universe wants me to get a scoop of strawberry ice-cream (because… strawberries are red).
BUT maybe the red bird flying past me is a STOP signal from the universe.
Maybe it's saying 'NOOOOO DON'T GET ICE-CREAM YOU JACKASS, YOU'RE GOING TO GET A SORE THROAT!!!'
And then I go get that strawberry flavored ice-cream.
And then my throat starts … you guessed it… getting sore.
And I start hating the universe because it misled me.
And the universe just shakes it's head in disgust.
New Hypothesis: Take the universe's signals with a pinch of salt.
In fact, take them with a splash of tabasco or something that will totally overpower the signal.
Old Hypothesis: Regret is a waste of 6 letters. You should never regret anything.
Revelation: Umm. Easier said than done.
True, all of the things you enjoy today are a result of previous decisions.
BUT, what about the things you could have enjoyed? And you can't now?
AND what about the things that make you suffer today?
They're a result of past decisions too, you know.
New Hypothesis: I didn't know what the hell I was talking about back then.
I was a dork.
That's changed now, by the way.
If you haven't noticed.
I'm totally NOT a dork anymore.
.
.
.
Funny how people change like that!
Old Hypothesis: Facebook leads to 'Peachimonia'.
Revelation: It totally does.
I accepted defeat and got onto facebook as a new year's resolution.
And I'm hating it.
New Hypothesis: Some of my old hypothesises are AWESOME!!
What's the plural of hypothesis anyway?
Hypothesi??!
Like 'fungus' and 'fungi'?
Or hypothesice?!
Like 'mouse' and 'mice'?
So you see, 2011 was a very educative year.
And the first few months of 2012 too.
The results of my experiments came in and proved most of my hypothesises right.
.
.
.
Okay, that word is beginning to annoy me now.
Some were amended while others were turned on their heads.
All in all, it was a good year for the ISCRRS.
(the Institute for Super Cool Research into Random Stuff… you forgot didn’t you?)
It still exists.
It's going strong.
.
.
.
Making the world a better place, one random idea at a time.
Also, there are some kinds of coffee that smell like earwax.
Don't ask me how I know.
I just do.
